What Does Skincare Mean to You? Making Beauty Choices From a Place of Agency, Not Fear
This isn't about whether you should be using a particular skincare product or booking the latest machine-led treatment. It's about noticing what is driving your choice.
Because when it comes to our faces, there are now more choices than ever.
Serums. Peptides. Retinol. Collagen. Hyaluronic acid. Vitamin C. Acids. SPF. Facial massage. Face Yoga. Injectables. Fillers. Laser treatments. Radiofrequency. Microneedling.
The list goes on.
And I work in the beauty and wellbeing industry, so I'm not here to tell you that any of those things are inherently right or wrong.
I'm much more interested in a different question:
Are you making your beauty choices from a place of agency — or from a place of fear?
My Nan had one bottle of skincare
When I think about skincare, I often think about my Nan.
I absolutely adored her.
When I was in my twenties, living in London, I'd travel down to Devon to see my grandparents every month or six weeks, and I would spend as much time as I could with my Nan.
One of my fondest memories when I was much younger, is of her sitting at her dressing table, looking after her skin.
She had one little pink bottle.
It was precious.
I remember the size of the bottle with the black lid and label, with a logo of the lady with her hands holding her face. I remember the pleasant, sweet smell. And I also remember that I wasn't allowed to touch it.
Today, that little bottle feels like it came from another world.
Oil of Ulay eventually became Oil of Olay, and Olay has gone from its original Beauty Fluid to a huge range of products incorporating ingredients and technologies that would have been unimaginable to my Nan.
So when I think about how much skincare has changed, I sometimes wonder:
What would my Nan choose now?
And more importantly:
What would drive her choice?
When skincare becomes about more than skin
Because skincare isn't simply about skincare.
For many women, it's about how they feel when they look in the mirror.
It's about confidence.
It's about identity.
It's about taking five minutes for yourself when everyone else needs something from you.
It's about feeling cared for.
And sometimes, it's about trying to hold on to something that feels as though it is changing.
I've spent more than two decades working with women's faces and bodies.
As part of my career, I specialised particularly in Zone Face Lift Therapy — a natural approach to facial massage, lifting and sculpting. Zone Face Lift is actually marketed as
‘A Natural Alternative To Botox & Fillers’.
And between around 2016 and 2018, I had countless conversations with women about their faces.
Women in their forties and fifties.
Intelligent, capable, beautiful women.
And yet I heard the same things again and again.
"I don't look good enough anymore."
"I don't recognise myself."
"I feel young, but I don't look as young as I feel."
And one woman told me she was worried that she might loose her job because of how she looked.
I remember being genuinely gobsmacked.
Not because women cared about their appearance.
I understood that.
What struck me was how quickly a change in appearance could become a judgement about their value.
Then I experienced it myself
At the time, I didn't fully understand it.
Then I reached my late forties.
I was getting the children ready for school one morning when I caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror.
And I remember being taken aback.
I looked different.
Older.
And almost immediately, an internal voice appeared.
I should have made more of an effort while I could.
I've left it too late.
I should have started a proper skincare routine earlier.
I should have paid more attention to myself.
And I remember thinking:
Where on earth did that come from?
Because I'd never consciously decided that being young was the most valuable version of me.
But suddenly I could feel the loss of it.
The young woman I had been was disappearing.
And there was grief in that.
I think many women experience something similar,
although everyone's circumstances are different.
Sometimes it's physical change.
Sometimes it's hormonal change.
Sometimes it's a relationship ending.
Redundancy.
Children leaving home.
Ill health.
Bereavement.
A change in identity.
Or simply the realisation that the future isn't going to look exactly like the life you once imagined.
And when we're already feeling uncertain or vulnerable, messages telling us how to fix, reverse, correct or conceal ourselves can become very powerful.
That's when I finally understood what some of those women had been trying to tell me.
It wasn't really just about wrinkles.
We are surrounded by different ideas about ageing
There isn't one single way to approach beauty as we get older.
And I think that's important to acknowledge.
I came across two very different perspectives from two women whose work I've found interesting.
Anna Murphy, Fashion Director of The Times, wrote Destination Fabulous, exploring her own approach to getting older and feeling more visible, confident and expressive. Her approach includes facial massage, facial exercises, skincare, movement and self-expression, alongside embracing aspects of her natural appearance.
Alice Hart-Davis is a beauty journalist and founder of The Tweakments Guide, an independent resource covering cosmetic procedures and skincare. Her work takes a much more treatment-led approach to the options available to people who want to explore aesthetic treatments.
Two intelligent women.
Two very different perspectives.
And I find that interesting.
Because I don't think the answer is that one woman has got it right and the other has got it wrong.
I think the more interesting question is:
What is driving your choice?
Are you choosing something because you genuinely enjoy it?
Because it makes you feel good?
Because you've researched it and decided it's right for you?
Or because somewhere along the line, you've been made to feel that you should change something about yourself?
For me, that's where the conversation becomes much more interesting.
Because women should be able to make different choices.
You can love your wrinkles and still enjoy a facial.
You can choose Botox or fillers.
You can choose not to have them.
You can embrace natural skincare.
You can love a sophisticated treatment.
You can change your mind.
The important thing is that the choice is yours.
We need the beauty industry
And this is where I think the conversation can become too simplistic.
It's very easy to say:
"The beauty industry makes women feel bad about themselves."
Sometimes beauty marketing absolutely can play on insecurity.
But the beauty industry is also made up of millions of people and thousands of businesses.
It's therapists.
Hairdressers.
Facialists.
Make-up artists.
Manufacturers.
Researchers.
Retailers.
Training providers.
Independent practitioners.
And businesses created by — and employing — huge numbers of women.
The British Beauty Council exists as an industry-wide organisation working across policy and influence, talent and careers, trade and investment, innovation and technology.
Its Value of Beauty 2025 report, produced with Oxford Economics, estimated that the UK personal care industry supported a total contribution of £30.4 billion to UK GDP in 2024 and around 697,000 jobs across its wider footprint.
So no, I don't want to throw the beauty industry away.
I work within it.
I value it.
I make my living from it.
But I do think we can ask better questions about how we engage with it.
What does skincare mean to you?
Maybe skincare is simply something you enjoy.
Maybe you love the ritual.
Maybe you like trying new products.
Maybe your skincare routine is five minutes of peace before everyone else wakes up.
Maybe having a facial makes you feel cared for.
Maybe facial massage helps you become aware of how much tension you are holding in your jaw.
Maybe looking after your skin reminds you that you matter too.
Or maybe you have found yourself buying product after product because you are worried about what is happening to your face.
Maybe you're constantly looking for the next thing that will make you look younger.
Maybe every new line or change in your skin feels like a problem that needs solving.
Those are very different experiences.
And noticing the difference can be powerful.
Skincare can be self-care
I don't believe skincare is frivolous.
And I don't believe caring about your appearance means that you are vain.
For many women, caring for their face and skin can be a meaningful part of self-care.
It's a moment of attention.
A sensory experience.
A pause.
A chance to slow down.
And facial therapy can bring another dimension to that.
My own approach to facial therapy is foundational.
Before we talk about trying to change the appearance of the skin, I want to think about the foundations of skin health:
The skin barrier.
Hydration.
Lymphatic movement.
Facial muscles and tension.
Movement.
Lifestyle.
Stress.
Rest.
And the way you actually live.
That's why my facial work isn't simply about putting products on the skin.
It can include natural facial therapy, massage, lifting and sculpting techniques, Face Yoga and thoughtful skincare, while paying attention to tension, movement and overall wellbeing.
Because skin health starts with how you live, not just what you put on your skin.
So how do we make better beauty choices?
For me, it starts with becoming more conscious.
Can I enjoy skincare because I enjoy it?
Can I have a treatment because it makes me feel good?
Can I choose a machine-led treatment if that's what I genuinely want?
Can I choose Botox or fillers?
Can I choose not to?
Can I decide that I like how I'm ageing?
Can I change my mind?
Can I question the information I'm being given?
Can I recognise when an advert is speaking to my insecurity?
Can I gather enough information to make a decision without somebody else deciding what I should do with my face?
I think all of those choices can exist.
Empowerment isn't telling women what to do with their faces.
It's having enough information, self-awareness and confidence to choose for yourself.
And then there's the next generation
There's another reason I think this matters.
Because younger women are watching us.
Our daughters.
Our nieces.
Our goddaughters.
Our friends' daughters.
The women coming after us are watching how we talk about ageing.
They're watching whether we describe our faces as problems.
They're watching whether every change needs correcting.
They're watching whether self-care is something we allow ourselves to enjoy — or something we feel guilty about.
And perhaps one of the most valuable things we can pass on isn't a particular skincare product or beauty routine.
It's the understanding that your face belongs to you.
You get to decide how you care for it.
You get to decide what beauty means to you.
And you don't have to hand that decision over to advertising, social media, the latest trend — or even me.
This is how I see beauty, skin care and wellbeing
I work with women in midlife who sometimes tell me they don't feel quite like themselves anymore.
Sometimes they're exhausted.
Sometimes they're carrying tension.
Sometimes their skin has changed.
Sometimes their confidence has changed.
Sometimes life has changed.
And sometimes all of those things are happening at once.
My role isn't to tell them what they should do.
It's to help them slow down, pay attention and work out what they actually need.
That's why my approach brings together skin health, facial therapy, Face Yoga, wellbeing and nervous-system support.
Because how you feel matters as much as how you look.
And I don't believe women need fixing.
I believe women deserve good information, thoughtful support and the freedom to make choices that genuinely feel right for them.
You don't have to become younger.
You don't have to reject beauty.
You don't have to chase it either.
You get to decide what looking after yourself means now.
Feel Like Yourself Again
If you'd like support with your skin, facial tension, wellbeing or simply finding your way back to yourself, I offer a range of ways to work with me in Eastbourne and online.
You can explore facial therapy and natural skin health treatments, join me for Face Yoga, or find out more about Return To Radiance, my personalised 12-week journey combining skin health, facial therapy and realistic wellbeing support.
Explore how we can work together via
Jane Long Wellbeing
And if you're not quite ready for that, you can start with my free Wellbeing Edit — practical ways to support how you feel, how you look and how you live.
Download the free Wellbeing Edit
Feel Like Yourself Again.
